Strength

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You start off in a perfect room. What makes a perfect room. Well, it’s that everything is equal. The lines, the square, the colour, the centre…

You put a door in and I will accept it. It’s wood on the beige and I find it has the right handed door opening mechanism so the mechanics dictate to grip, turn and pull, to open the door. I’m in a beige hallway. Boring, but with multiple doors to explore. There are four in this hallway. Then a bend…

I move across to the opposite door, to discover the curiosity. In this room sits a girl in a movie theatre. She watches all the childhood kids she had trusted and watched as they eventually grew tired and moved on from her not understanding, because she was different.

I entered a door called medical. I saw the girl, so tired. She had lived a very sad life and hoped that the sleep would end it. But fate was cruel and brought her back. She blinked open her eyes and apologised, not for herself, but because she brought others pain by being alive.

I left and progressed along the hall, opening the door… I found a teenager terrified as her brother punched her because he was taking drugs. I saw her confused as he yelled at her to be normal. I saw her cry herself to sleep, feeling alone, because no one would listen or understand. (was the circled ones)

I entered another door and saw her trying numerous ways to end her life, because she had given up. I saw her pain like an infected wound, which couldn’t heal. 

I saw her lose her best friend. The most needed in her life. It broke her so badly that she repressed it to the darkened part of her soul. She won’t speak of it, it will always make her cry.

I saw her leave her lovely job. I saw her leave her many friends she had made and finally felt like she belonged. The first time she had felt valued, needed and at home…

But peace was short-lived and due to budget they threw her away. Her happiness was limited and ended. Everyone will eventually throw her away… they never care, they just throw her way…

She then got offered a few jobs but ended up in a weird place called Bathurst. Oh dear was it bad! She got harassed, she got bullied, she got illegal happenings from Human Resources of all people! It was so awful she needed to submit a harrassment claim. 

Then she saw them paying off the union… So realised she was alone again. Her union rep told her, oh obviously the people speaking on your behalf (15 btw) lied to you (nope, read every single one, because they were my friends and I was angry). 

I saw how they blamed her for their problem. I also saw the 17 other cases, which were handled the same way, I also understood that she did such amazing work that they couldn’t lose her. Which was why they didn’t…idiots. 

During this time, saw the love of her life die and her melt down due to grief. I saw her holding on by a hair string and trying to hold on. She died internally and instead of helping they hurt her continuously. They pestered her, used her home phone, used her personal email and say things like ‘Well bet you feel stupid because you tried to complain. You better not do that again.’ to try to dissuade their guilt over their behaviour.

During her heart being shattered, they were continuously hurting her, not giving a moment of peace. They told her that she was not eligible for bereavement as they were only engaged, not wed. Then refused her annual leave request with no reason. She had 97 hours owed to her.

She turned her goals to fighting injustice. She contacted lawyers and wrote seven reports on the illegal activities which she had witnessed. Her manager said “Who cares if we break the law! That’s what lawyers are for!” When showed the material…

She wished lawyers had a shred of dignity or this wouldn’t still be happening. Corruption!

She saw them weasel, out of their illegal activities (29 and counting), she saw them harrass co-workers into trying to give them the ability to degrade and harrass because they would be fired otherwise…

Do you understand how I am able to deal with you people? I drink alcohol. Suddenly your innane babaling makes sense to me. How sad is that. I need a brain countering substanse to make sense of what you are saying…

I saw her crying so much. I saw her withdrawing. I saw her breaking from the weight…

Fuck you world.

I saw her lift her head, slowly. I saw her use her muscles to lift her body. I saw the sunlight, I saw the mountain and I saw the first step to climb it. 

Long and short was that she climbed the steep mountain. It was long, hard and tedious. But she succeeded. 

To climb this type of mountain you do not demean and hurt people. To climb this mountain you praise, support and help… which honestly took longer than it should have.

Don’t slow me with your negativity, do not try break me. Philautia!

I’m alone but I’m fucking strong! Do not try to break me as I am stronger than you, you will crunch beneath my foot if you dare to try hurt me again! I am not weak, you are. Try test me!