Ok, we all have issues when it comes to self image. I know, as I’ve always suffered and felt that I am never who I want to be. This is such a common problem, with everyone.
If you’ve suffered bullying, mean things said about you, constant criticism for being yourself… yep, we all have that same problem.
I am saying that, we are all in the same boat, doesn’t matter if you are the social queen or quiet introvert. All of us experience those feelings of self doubt and destructive thought patterns. In this one respect, we are the same.
Some of us, break the structure by being overly confident and appearing that nothing hurts them. They are strong and can do anything. I do This often. The most outrageous and confident, I can appear to be, is a mask. So others won’t see the frightened, insecure and sad person… that is terrified about human acceptance.
It is a basic fight or flight response. Even if the person is fighting the insecurity, believe me, that no matter how confident they are… they are fighting against running in the opposite direction.
I appear confident about anything, I will wear a silly costume at work and be an engaging, confident person. Because it appears as if i don’t give a crap. But, I do. I’m not going to lie. I want attention. I want people to notice. I mean, why the fuck would a person dress as Batman, if it was a normal thing?
I like to be weird, I like to be random. I like to be unconventional. I love being free to express myself. I love being noticed. I felt so many years of being invisible. Why not be a bit noticed when you need that confidence?
Why else does a peacock have it’s feathers or a baboons bright red butt? I’m an extrovert, so I dress oddly, or confidently… to express my true colours. Others might do something, normal, like changing their hair style or colour.
But we are all masking a sense of insecurity. I look back at my photos in high school and remember how insecure I was. Geez, was I an idiot. I was so gorgeous! But, I was so insecure and in such self doubt, that I missed out on so much! I’m pretty sure I was bullied as a result of those poor girls insecurities (I got my boobs early and they were DD, so let’s face it… those girls didn’t stand a chance against me as a teen). But due to the fact they called me a slut, fat, anorexic (Don’t know what they thought of the conflicting points…). It really doesn’t matter now.
No matter how confident you are, all it takes is one tiny little bump or comment, to knock you off your pedestal. Doesn’t have to be big. Just a tiny knick and you’re back to where you were, feeling like you are a nothing.
Men have spent years, hiding insecurities that girls have talked about and come to grips with. I used to get so annoyed when guys talk about their looks and complaining about them… until I realised that guys hate themselves as much as women do! We are actually not so different when it comes to insecurity. Every single person is the same. Unless you are a complete sociopath, you will have self doubt and insecurity.
I have a terrible talent of picking out people’s insecurities. I have never tried to use it, as I’d prefer to give people encouragement. But believe me, if I can pick flaws on super models… I can do it on anyone. I think it’s a basic skill learnt, when dealing with bullies for most of your life. No matter how confident and perfect seeming a person may appear to be… Every one has that one thing which makes their mask fall away and be the insecure person they are on the inside.
Every person is the same. No matter the appearance. I believe that we all should have the courage to be ourselves and show our real selves… Even if it’s not what others say you should look like or feel. Basic self confidence lesson is to believe that you are what everyone else wants to be. Keep pretending until it comes true.
Every day, I put on my mask and pretend I am the boss. When I get home, I can crumble and start criticising myself… But during the day, no one can shake my confidence or convince me that I am anything but, fucking amazing.
You are amazing! Go out there and be daring, the worst that will happen is that someone laughs. But laughter is good. You’re making people happy, which means your attitude has just brought a smile. You are a legend!
Maxine the Magnificent 