WORKPLACE ETIQUETTE

Now when working within close proximity to people… you pick up on bad habits or the ability to hate a specified co-worker and imagine killing them in the most horrific ways.

This is normal… when you actually start buying things to help with the murder plot, then I would suggest talking with a workplace helper, or therapist.  

I find most annoying time is lunch. If you have smelly food, please for the love of God, take it outside! The people who happily eat any fish product, Indian food or egg salad sandwiches… take them outside! The office already smells gross enough from the combined odour of different/mismatching perfume/cologne that people wear (especially when they are trying to flirt with someone in the office). Then we also have the fitness freak who went on a 20k ride without showering after and the person who wears nylon pantyhose and kicks off her shoes… not realising the offensive odour has made most colleagues run to meetings, just to avoid it.

I will also mention the, as I call them, “Sneak farter’s”. Men, over a certain age, seem to think they can fart anywhere. Plus, they generally don’t have the best diets, so it makes people retch and flee whenever they produce their stinky bomb. Go to the fucking bathroom you slob! I don’t care if you don’t smell it. The rest of us are gagging and running for the hills. Basic rule – never fart in public unless it will be hilarious and part of a joke!

Ok, sorry, I’ve mostly been talking about smells, but it is a cause of great concern in the workplace.

The other issue is loudly talking on any phone. Phones are able to get your voice, if you are talking normally. You don’t need to increase the volume people. Yes, your boss now knows you are working and have almost solved a pressing issue, but none of the rest of the floor really needed to hear about it.

Also in open plan offices, we can hear you. There are no private conversations. If you want to bitch about a co-worker, go outside, or grab a coffee… we don’t need to hear about your mundane dramas. ”OMG, can you believe that slut got the project instead of me!” “Yes, we all have heard you bitching 24 7 about It, and if you had a clue you’d do the work rather than gossiping all day”.

Published by Maxine Stockton

I love to hear from people. Feel free to comment. Cheers.

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