We all read the articles studying the decreased productivity after three days of work. Employers who went with a three day on and four day off became much more productive. But then the Japanese like to improve on production. AKA “You need rest, here have beds at work, just keep working!”
The Spanish have a siesta in the afternoon at peak conflict hour aka 2pm and then continue late until midnight. They are pretty fiery people, so may not help, but certainly something to consider.
European, American and Aussie’s tend to go with “You will work all week and for the maximum amount of hours, if you complain we will tell you about people who can’t get jobs because another generation refuses to retire until you’re in your forties and they are in their nineties, because the economy is that bad…” Actually America goes one better, “Work for over the hours in the day for minimum pay!”
…
She sat pondering the job crisis and whether she could get away with declaring her nap as a social right. While she knew quite a few phrases in Spanish, she wasn’t sure the mean and abusive Human Resources helper would go for it. Her co-worker Lauren interrupted her reverie, “Why is Brett asking everyone about Shaun’s management practises and if he’s been embezzling?”
She shrugged her shoulders in response, not wishing to reveal her plan to drive the small man insane, “Don’t know the Used Car Sales Mans mind, Lauren, best to leave it alone.”
“Why do you call him ‘Used Car Salesman’?” Lauren asked.
“Because that’s his behaviour. If you look at his personality and work type he pulls the same tricks. You go into a car showroom and have your heart set on the stable reliable Toyota Camry then suddenly he starts talking to you about random things and next thing you know you have bought a Nissan without an engine and suddenly realise you need to order all the parts from Japan at double the shipping cost. That deal became a huge cost and he is the same with work. He will promise a stakeholder all bells and whistles and doesn’t bother to talk to someone with the programming ability. So he promises things which cannot actually be done. Then he blames them when the project fails or costs more than a million dollars.”
Suddenly a snort of contempt reached her ears. She turned and saw the office grump walk past with a scowl. Blair glared at her with unknown origin to his hatred, so she smiled broadly and asked “Hi Sunshine! Are storm clouds approaching?”
“No it’s a clear day,” he murmured looking down. Suddenly a brash entrance by a trashy looking woman happened. She blinked as the thing with obviously died orange hair in pigtails, stick on lashes which only a prostitute would find enticing, make up which she was not sure would better be suited to a less classy painting for a wanna be Picasso’s cubism era. She had a hideously cheap outfit and for some reason knock off Dock Martins, which looked a bit like a pensioner in a rappers apparel. The child woman kissed him so wetly that she had to look away. It was both gross and oddly like a odd factor which needed to be watched to be sure it existed. Like popping a pimple, gross but weirdly you couldn’t turn your eyes from the horror. The tart eventually stopped and the poor bloke looked both proud and also sadly demoralised. He was not attractive. The only thing going for him was his height. Otherwise, balding grey hair, glasses bigger than most detective spyglasses and a protruding nose which seemed disparaging to his head. His otherwise trim figure had a protruding stomach, which made him look like he was pregnant. He also talked like he was a one man play and everyone else were the audience. She often felt a need to place her hands over her ears when he became a bit too excited and spoke in a higher volume. She felt kind of sorry for him, but less so, since she had been told he was looking to get her fired.
“Remember that you’re picking up Tom, Phil and Brad after work. I’m taking Amanda to dance practise,” the tarty woman commanded him in a grating voice. Instead of replying he just nodded and they all had to suffer through another of the sickening wet kisses and sighed in relief as she left the office.
Blair looked slightly embarrassed and Lauren tried to put him out of his misery by asking, “That sounds like fun, taking your kids somewhere exciting?”
He frowned and shook his head, “They aren’t my kids. They are hers from previous relationships,” She felt a little speechless at the contempt in his voice for the children he had married her with. She also noticed that he didn’t use a singular with the relationship from previously, suggesting she had had a few men’s children and failed to trap them into marriage, until she had met him. She had to bite her tongue before she made a reference to his wife being the towns hay ride. “You need to try not to talk so much. I’m very busy today and you two talking distracts me,” he commanded into the awkward silence.
“Yeah I know it’s terrible we couldn’t get those mouth zips approved from a human right standard, right?” She said sarcastically and realising by his frown that he didn’t understand she was being flippant, “It’s okay, we’ll try be quiet, okay?”
As people started arriving and the office had a full set of people, who were all saying good mornings and getting their coffee etc. Blair looked accusingly at her as she replied to a good morning. The fact everyone else in the office were talking loudly had escaped his attention. She smiled as one of her friends walked in, “Andy, well met. How are the wife and kids? You ready to leave them yet and elope with me to Hawaii?” She asked winking.
They had a developed an easy rapport early on and had a similar sense of humour. She constantly asked him to run away with her, which gave him an ego boost and she knew he would never leave his extraordinarily attractive wife and two kids. It was safe fun and they both enjoyed the banter. It took a secure person to be able to talk that way with. She knew never to use it on the Used car sales man or any of the other married blokes in the office as they seemed a bit like they would likely take her up on the offer. You could always tell how secure a couple was when you socialised with them. If a wife, like Blairs had done and decided to try swallow his head to establish he was hers when around other females, it was a clear warning sign. Andy’s beautiful wife had laughed and joked. The type of confidence she had shown, should be the envy of all women. Andy was a lucky man, which why she found him to be such a good friend. Secure men tended to be better able to have external female relationships without expecting anything to come from it.
“Haven’t renewed my passport, so will have to reapply before a trip to Hawaii,” he responded.
“Let me tell you about the guy, I met on the way to work!” She remembered that she wanted to share her gossip with someone, “I was walking my normal route a few days ago, when this guy with a bike stopped riding and started chatting to me. Apparently we had the same route into work, then each day he rode up and then walked his bike while we chatted down the street and he continued riding after I went into work. This sounds like a beautiful love story and I was very excited, until this morning.”
“What happened?” Andy asked and she realised the Used car Sales Man had sidled up to listen to the story.
“When we got to the office he asked if I’d write my number on his arm. I said I would put it in his phone and he got this embarrassed look and said ‘I don’t have a phone, I’m on work release from the prison.'”
The Used Car Sales Man laughed loudly and could not contain himself from immediately going from desk to desk and telling the entire office. Andy asked with a smile on his face, “What did you do?”
“I wrote my number on his arm. He’s really hot!” She laughed and was rewarded by a chuckle. Then she saw the odd males behaviour switch which seemed to happen in them when they considered you as vulnerable.
“What was he arrested for?” He asked business like.
“Got into a punch up in a pub and the judge sentenced him grievous bodily harm for the mans black eye. Three months in prison with work leave,” she answered, remembering the logical explanation from the prisoner. Andy looking slightly judgemental made her question her own morality and whether she was making a wise choice, “He’s got one more month of being in prison, then he is out.”
“He sounds a bit violent, I know he said all he did was cause a black eye, but does that sound normal for a three month prison stay?” Andy asked gently.
“Oh, fine I guess I won’t date a prisoner then,” she laughed, not betraying the fact she had been harbouring the same thoughts about it. She got a ping from her email and the Used Car Salesman had sent everyone an email asking which prisoner was her most likely dream date, which had Charles Manson and Jeremy Meeks. She responded with a hell yes to Jeremy Meeks. She read about his crimes and felt the hotness outweighed the caution on that case.
She got a disapproving look from Janet at her reply email and then a click from the office snitch. She laughed enjoying the joke. Suddenly the potato man aka Shaun Bunion was at her desk, “You need to come talk with us now in the meeting room,” he said severely. She looked to the rotund woman who was called the overall team manager, of the five teams which consisted of one person actually doing the work each and the other eight managing them.
“Hi Kate, how are you?” She asked.
“Um, hmm” Kate responded.
This gave her a warning that the meeting was going to be Shaun trying to act superior. His chief of staff or ineffectual main manager had problems with being assertive. She needed to know who was winning before she actually weighed in on an argument.
She entered the meeting room and they all crowded around her chair with grim faces. She felt like she was at a funeral with the non effectual anticipation of bad news. “We’ve had a complaint,” Shaun began with all the appearance of being a decent human being.
“Cool, who was it and why?” She asked into the silence as they seemed to be savouring the tension and expected her to play along.
“Blair has said you insulted him,” Shaun progressed with his serious tone.
She smiled to their shock and asked, “Oh phew, is that all. What does he say I said, then I can deny it and get on with the day?”
“You don’t seem to be taking this seriously. It’s something which needs to be discussed!” He spluttered.
“I am so sorry, I also really apologise for causing Blair any discomfort. I understand he is autistic, as am I, and I realise I may have mistakenly caused an issue with him processing what I said. I will apologise for that, as I do not wish to cause him harm mentally. But, I do not think I have to apologise to you for my known speech or ability to talk with people. If we had a few other examples, then I would modify my behaviour, yet due to a specialised circumstance, I would suggest that I apologise for any slight I caused and hope that he will understand that I mean no harm. If he doesn’t then I guess you guys will have to prepare to talk to the Human Resources department. She’s a good friend, hates me with almost as much hatred as you guys are portraying here.”
“We are not in anyway belittling you as autistic,” Kate spluttered insecurely.
“I feel with you bringing up my speech patterns and causing a negative connotation it does trigger me. But as I have suggested a solution, I assume this will be a one time thing?”
“It depends if he wants to complain about you!” Shaun shouted, losing his cool.
“Ok, this seems an unhealthy work environment, my manager just yelled at me. Can you please request a transfer to another team?” She asked, looking seriously, knowing that the needed employee rights act would come into play with a employee feeling uncomfortable.
“I didn’t yell!” Shaun yelled and she smiled.
“Repeat behaviour now, I had better leave and call someone. Please wait before addressing me again,” She stood and with a last disparaging look at them, left the meeting room.
She acted confidently, but felt a pit of dread welling up in her. The sadness of being bullied welled up and felt like a black hole. She shook her head and stupidly asked, “What else could go wrong?”…
