Subject: Anger Management
To: Hulk@disney.com
From: Jiminy.Cricket@disney.com
Hi Hulk,
So proud of you accepting responsibility for yourself and joining our little anger management group!
We all know how hard it was moving to the Disney family, some of the other franchises have mixed feelings at first. You’ll see Hans Solo from Star Wars sometimes, he had a really hard time at first. Oh, and Indiana Jones. Listen, you might think they look like the same guy in a different costume, but don’t mention it to them as they get pretty annoyed.
You’ll find all us Disney characters very accepting and nice to the new Disney family members, and as your new sponsor I will introduce you and get you settled into the group.
Feel free to email me any problems, I am here to support you and keep you calm.
Cheers,
Jiminy
To: Jiminy.Cricket@disney.com
From: Hulk@disney.com
To: Hulk@disney.com
From: Jiminy.Cricket@disney.com
Hi Hulk,
Ok, understand it can be tough the first few meetings. Know that you need to find your groove and face your demons to work on the steps.
If I had one suggestion, it might be: Don’t challenge Snow White to a fight because she wouldn’t stop singing her feelings?
For one thing it seemed a bit unfair as you are a 400kg green man and she’s a 50kg princess…
But here to talk if you need to buddy. Good work attending the meeting.
All the best,
Jiminy
To: Jiminy.Cricket@disney.com
From: Hulk@disney.com
To: Hulk@disney.com
From: Jiminy.Cricket@disney.com
Hi Hulk,
Good work sharing your feelings at the meeting.
A slight thing to keep in mind is that Disney tries to keep things at least “PG”. So basic rules to follow:
- No swearing/profanity – Mild profanity is permitted, but stronger language (e.g., the “f” word) usually triggers a higher rating unless context and frequency are minimal.
- No nudity – Brief, non-sexual nudity is allowed, but explicit or frequent nudity requires a higher rating.
- No excessive violence – Permitted but must not be intense. Violence in PG-rated content is generally mild or fantasy-based.
- No drug use – Mild drug references may be present, though drug use is typically restricted to PG-13 or higher.
Just some things to keep in mind when sharing.
Cheers Buddy,
Jiminy
To: Jiminy.Cricket@disney.com
From: Hulk@disney.com
To: Hulk@disney.com
From: Jiminy.Cricket@disney.com
Hey Buddy,
I know you were just letting off steam after I told you the rules. I know I come across as a fuddy duddy to you new members of the Disney family. But I have to point out your, I hate to use the word, but mistake…
When you came to the meeting drunk, well it caused quite an uncomfortable situation when you lewdly winked at Cindy then asked if she wanted to “Smash”.
She’s been having difficulty with her marriage to Prince Charming recently as she told us in confidence at the meeting. So, this come on was very unwelcome and caused some bad feelings.
Jiminy
To: Jiminy.Cricket@disney.com
From: Hulk@disney.com
To: Hulk@disney.com
From: Jiminy.Cricket@disney.com
Hulk,
Dude, what were you thinking? Ripping off your shorts and running naked down Disney Worlds Main Street, was not okay! Those poor Japanese tourists were running away shouting “Godzilla!”
That is not the atmosphere we are trying to create here!
Jiminy
P.S. Please ignore the drunken voice mail message from Cindy, she had another fight with Prince Charming and was not thinking clearly.
To: Jiminy.Cricket@disney.com
From: Hulk@disney.com
To: Hulk@disney.com
From: Jiminy.Cricket@disney.com
What the $%^& is wrong with you???
You sent $%^&*(@ pest control to my house! I almost $%^&@#$ died! You are a #$%^&@# monster!
I thought because we were both green, maybe we could build a friendship, but no, you just act like a %^&*@# up, #$%^ with #%^$^*& and #%$&* your face!
$%^& you!
Jiminy
To: Jiminy.Cricket@disney.com
From: Hulk@disney.com
To: Hulk@disney.com
From: Woody@disney.com
Howdy Partner,
As you know, Jiminy had a bit of an incident and we’re still searching for him. If you see him, please contact the park security immediately.
But until we find him and get him the help he needs, I’m going to be your new sponsor. So please feel free to contact me anytime.
You’ve got a friend in me.
Woody
To: Woody@disney.com
From: Hulk@disney.com
Maxine the Magnificent 