Swear Words?
Have you ever thought of why like 90% of swear words/insults seem to be male or female genitals? It probably is because they are not something discussed in polite society. But if it’s that easy to create a swear words, why isn’t saying something like “Well, he’s the wrong type of fork!” Or “You’re a misplaced napkin!”, considered insults?
Leg Counts
Ok this one I admit is a bit random, but I think humans have issues with leg counts. To explain, we have a severe prejudice against anything without legs e.g. snakes, eels, worms, slugs etc. then we are fine with anything between 1 (don’t have problems with flamingoes) and 6 legs, but then draw a line at eight legs e.g. spider, octopus, squid, etc. So, apparently to be accepted by humanity you need to have between 1 and 6 legs and you’ll be accepted. But if you fall outside this, humans will fear you…
Bookshelf
This one is 100% just me, but I have been complaining to anyone who will listen about one of my bookshelf and they have told me to shut up. You see I buy a lot of books and have to buy a new bookshelf each year because otherwise, they need to stack on top of others and that really annoys me. So due to not having much space left in my current rental, I bought a smaller model to free up some space on two of the other categorised shelves. I like quirky little pieces of furniture and bought the very swanky looking diagonal bookshelf, which managed to squeeze in beside my big bookshelf. Saw no problems… Until I started putting books on it. Oh the horror! The left side is fine, no problems, but the right side needs to place the books base up, so you can read the spines and if the spine is up down rather than across, you can’t read it because it’s upsidedown! For a woman who is ocd about her books… This is beyond torture.
Oh and also had to mention the one book on my bookshelf which has a wrong way facing spine… Did the publisher get bored or drunk… I don’t know, but it’s the only book I’ve found that does this on my shelves. Makes my teeth itch, even if technically would solve the problem above…
Australian Accents
Crocodile Dundee, Australians in movies, tv shows and even news stories, well, they have very exaggerated accents. I have never heard someone in Australia that actually sounds like that… Is Australia trying to play a trick on Americans, so anytime they appear on television they sound like they failed primary school English? Or maybe it’s like how the camera adds 10 pounds, so in Australia it changes your voice and words somehow… So you were meaning to say, “The person was acting a bit irrational but was calm after supper,” yet it sounds like, on television, “That bloke was having a go and had a roo loose in the top paddock. After having a snag at the barbie, she was right, mate!” I live here and I have not heard an Australian sound like how they sound on tv… Are they playing a long con or do they behave differently on television without realising?
When I hear the exaggerated accent, I keep hearing Henry Higgin’s from ‘My Fair Lady’ asking “Why can’t the English teach their children how to speak”, changing the English to Australians.
Do you think Sydney has a sudden influx of phonetics professors each time an Australian News story goes international. Then see a tone of these disappointed people hanging around the Sydney Opera house, asking passers by to say hello… I guess it’s a way to boost tourism? Well played Australia, well played…
February
We’ve all had the thought about how horrible the calendar is with some days being 30 and others being 31, then you get very annoying February with 28. It is annoying for someone with slight ocd. Why couldn’t they just take 1 day from January and March to give poor February enough days? It was apparently due to Roman superstition that even numbers were unlucky (perfect thing to use to dictate timing! Pfft). So in their ten month calendar they made each month 29 or 31 days. This unfortunately left February as the “unlucky” month with 28 days and they held purification rituals on the day. This does not explain why we still have a 28 day month.
The theory around this is because they don’t want to reprogram the computers and financial systems to go by a new date. My explanation that it would only slightly shorten two months to fix, was met with derision and humans are too lazy to change it, so apparently we need to keep living with the odd month and some poor people only getting their Birthday once every four years… Same theory applies with daylight savings time btw. Humanity finds it too hard to change a bad system because they just can’t be bothered, no matter how much it upsets people.
Patterns
This one is a grasp your hands on reality kinda ponder, but… My theory about the universe is that everything is a pattern. Not like your life is woven into a tapestry kind of way, just that everything is a common repeatable pattern whether, weather, human or other. You know when people say that the lotto is an unfathomable pattern, yeah, it really is a pattern. But unfortunately too large to guess the next sequence. They made it bigger than the determinations, so we then rely on luck.
If you think of it like how we program things on a computer, there is actually no such thing as random. The reason for this is that it is a predefined algorithm controlling what can and can’t be done. I do know that we see this world as life, but when you look at everything scientifically, it leads you to believe that the patterns are all in there. Even with slight inconsistencies, it still creates an unbelievably complex, yet simple algorithm, which does change with time and we call that evolution. But it still is an algorithm, maybe just an updated version following the same pattern…
All the easy ways to lose fat are illegal or unhealthy
Not because they plan it this way, before you get onto a blame cycle. The easy ways are legitimately going to kill you. Unfortunatly this is the one time that you can’t take a shortcut or pay someone to do it for you…
Proven illegal methods are:
- Meth
- Speed
- Heroin
- Basically any upper drug…
Legal methods –
- Nicotine
- Stomach stapling
- Surgery (Suck and tuck)
Now the smoke is going to kill you, apparently. I seriously smoked a lot. Was good for suppression of appetite and boosts the metabolism. I’m not sure if I ate less due to lack of smell or the fact I felt fuller with the smoke instead of food. I hate that my sense of smell as well as fat has come back after quitting. Humans are very smelly. Never knew how sensitive my nose was until I quit.
I get creeped out by cosmetic surgery in general. But when they start doing things that should rely on a persons will-power to stop…. well, no matter how you dress it up, it’s not good and makes people lazier and weaker as a species.
The only way apart from damaging your health, is to starve and exercise continuously and a lot. No carbs, no fat, no calories can pass your lips. You get less rations the more you work out due to your body needing to sustain itself… As said, it’s not healthy for you to diet excessively or burn out.
What I am trying to say here, in an oblique and contrary way is:
Be healthy – not by anyone else’s standards. The system gives you averages of what they think you should strive for, not what is healthy for you. Eat until you are full and have some veges. Try eat healthy as much as possible and things you like, not hate. Oh, and actually only eat when you are hungry. Don’t follow someone elses schedule.
Exercise, as much as you can. Don’t get to the shaky muscle stage as then your body is then fighting you.
Also, enjoy it! Have a five minute dance break to celebrate something, do a twitchy leg movement during meetings (I have ADHD and if I’m not moving I cannot concentrate easily, so I usually twitch) or just pace down and up the hallway for a few minutes while thinking.
Understand that your body will fight you more as you age, it actually is meant to do that, so accept it gracefully and adjust what you used to do, with what you can do. Exercise doesn’t need to be a grueling trek. It can be fun. Don’t confine yourself and you will do more. Wear a pedometer if you need to have the gain, but try do it for fun.
Okay, gotten preachy, so gonna end it there. Happy ponderings!
Maxine the Magnificent 