You know what I hate, as a horror movie fan? The constant remakes of a horror movie! Yes, we have special effects now and someone might have a slight twist on the original story line, but the constant repetition is boring and kills the original by its mediocracy.
If you are a Horror movie fan, you may question that I did not mention Childs Play or Hellraiser into this list. This is because the Childs Play franchise became more of a comedy than a horror. Hellraiser, I have always viewed more of a Science Fiction based genre.
Here are some movies that if I see the exact same theme and storyline one more time, it will make me scream in anger, not terror;
AMITYVILLE HORROR MOVIES
The Amityville Horror story keeps getting retold in the same way with slight differences. It always focuses on the Amityville house, which was made famous by the true story of Ronald Joseph DeFeo Jr who murdered his father, mother, two brothers and two sisters in 1974. He first tried to blame the murders on a mob hit, which was soon disproved. Then when his story was revealed to be fake and he confessed to the murders, he used an insanity plea at trial. He was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder and was on heroin and LSD. He was fully aware during the murders. The judge gave him six 25 years to life sentences for his crime. He lived the rest of his life in Sullivan Correctional Facility until he died in 2021. He changed his story continuously with every appeal and came up with new stories based on no logical evidence.
Then a few months after the murders (December) the Lutz family moved into the house 112 Ocean Avenue. They moved away, claiming that the house was haunted. The entire book of “The Amityville Horror- True Story” has been disproved by all characters contained within it. William Weber (the defence lawyer for Ronald DeFeo, Jr. at his trial) even said that the book was a hoax and the tale had been thought up, over a couple of bottles of wine. No other hauntings or strange occurrences ever happened within the house, and it is just popular by the books and movies.
Here are all the versions by their “theme” of the supposed Story-
THEME – HAUNTED HOUSE
Original (1979) – The Amityville Horror
Family moves into house, get terrified by the vengeful spirit of Ronald DeFeo Sr (Father of the murderer).
Sequel (1981) – Amityville 2 the Possession
Same movie basically family moves in, son becomes demonically possessed etc.
Remake (2005) – The Amityville Horror
Exact same storyline as the original, except with Ryan Reynolds playing the owner of the house with his wife and kids.
Remake (2017) – Amityville the Awakening
Same thing… again… family moves in, haunting, paranormal happenings, demonic possession etc.
Remake (1983) – Amityville 3D
Slight difference as this time a photographer moves in, to disprove the hauntings. Only was made to capture the 3D fad at that time in movie making.
Remake (1990) – The Amityville Curse
Family moves in and have the exact same experience as every other one of these movies, except they decided it was a priest this time who was haunting them.
Remake (2011) – The Amityville Haunting
Exact same thing happens to another family, though this time they catch it by setting up cameras all over the house like the paranormal activity movies.
Remake (2016) – The Amityville Terror
Yep, same as before, family moves in get haunted… but this one has malicious townspeople who try to keep them there. Oh, sooooo different pfft.
THEME – HAUNTED OBJECT
(1993) Amityville: A New Generation
Cursed mirror from the Amityville House starts killing its new owners.
(1996) Amityville Doll House
Cursed Doll House which is exactly like 112 Ocean drive Amityville house, causes paranormal activity. Honestly, why not give the gift of a replica murder house to your child?
Ok this time it’s a demon possessed lamp!?! Seriously? Well at least it’s original lmao.
(1992) Amityville: It’s About Time
Pardon the pun but yes, it’s about a cursed clock…
(2016) The Amityville Toybox/Legacy
Cursed object is a toy monkey from the Amityville Horror House.
THEME – OTHER
(2016) Amityville: No Escape
This time the whole town and forest of Amityville is cursed. As usual college kids in the woods…
(2013) Amityville Asylum
Now the Amityville Horror is an insane asylum. What could go wrong right?
(2016) Amityville: Vanishing Point
This time it’s a boarding house…
(2017) Amityville Exorcism
Girl possessed by the Amityville house demon. Maybe the demon misses the lamp it possessed?
(2015) Amityville Death House
This time they are blaming the Evil on a Witch.
(2015) Amityville Playhouse
Yep, now a movie theatre is plagued by the demon.
THEME – PREQUEL
(2018) The Amityville Murders
Basically, the story of Ronald Joseph DeFeo Jr who murdered his father, mother, two brothers and two sisters in 1974. Though is very loosely based on the real events.
TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
The Texas chainsaw massacre is exactly the same movie, just with a different bunch of people (generally college kids) getting hunted by a cannibalistic hillbilly family. Every single movie is a repeat with different actors.
The main villain is called Leatherface. He is basically knocked off from the true-life killer called Ed Gein, as was, Buffalo Bill (Silence of the Lambs), Bates (Psycho), Ezra Cobb (Deranged) and many, many others. Ed Gein made clothing out of human skin and had a very unhealthy obsession with his dead mother. The very slight similarities with Ed Gein are the only “true” things in this story.
The chainsaw, is just for the splatter and gore in the movie. Plus, it’s a pretty good weapon, as it can cut through anything.
So, the main storyline for all these films is that a bunch of college kids are on a road trip, then stop at a petrol station that belongs to the hillbilly family. A few miles down the road their car malfunctions and the teens get hunted down by the family. Since they then know the family is hunting them, the cannibals release Leatherface and the chainsaw massacre commences. Anything I missed?
Anyway, here is the entire list of all the remakes. There is nothing original to separate the movies by, so I’m just giving you the list –
1974 – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
2003 – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
2017 – Leatherface
2022 – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I got bored even writing the list, by the continuous repetition. So, obviously I wouldn’t recommend watching them all. Just close your eyes and select one at random and I can promise you it will be exactly the same story as the others. There, I just saved you 12 hours to watch original movies instead.
FRIDAY THE 13TH
Friday the 13th is set around a summer camp that closed, when a boy, Jason, drowned. This story has now been made to death into 12 movies. There are a few plot twists and differences because luckily the focused mainly on sequels rather than constant remakes of the original. Though, this one has the frustrating use of the word “Final”. If it says Final, then please keep it that way! This movie franchise does try to keep it original, though with a serious laugh factor from the extreme factors they keep going to, to resurrect this poor villain!
1980 – Friday the 13th
Basically, Jason’s mum (Pamela Voorhees) trying to stop Camp Crystal Lake from reopening, after her son Jason died there. Instead of trying to get a petition or speaking with the owners, she has a much better plan of killing anyone who goes into the camp… much better plan obviously! She gets decapitated at the end.
1981 –Friday the 13th Part 2
This movie, Jason is fully grown and killing any person to enter Camp Crystal Lake. Five years after his mum got decapitated, the owners think sending some teens to reopen the camp is a good idea. We all know how the story progresses. The main character is the only one left alive and supposedly kills Jason. But…
1982 – Friday the 13th Part 3
Jason miraculously survives and this time kills anyone who is on a random farm he is hiding on. This time the only survivor supposedly kills Jason with an axe to the head. He’s surely dead right? Wrong.
Jason wakes up in the morgue and after killing some people goes back to Crystal Lake. Kills a bunch of teenagers who rented a house There, then gets killed again by Tommy. This ends it right? It does say “Final”…
This time It’s a copycat Jason at a halfway house, where Tommy from the previous movie lives, after being released from a mental institution, as he’s terrified of Jason. They kill the copycat and Tommy survives.
1986 – Friday the 13th Part 6
Tommy gets released from another mental institution and manages to resurrect Jason, by accident, with lightning hitting a metal fence post on Jason’s grave. Jason goes back to the now opened Camp Crystal Lake and kills everyone there. Tommy eventually chains Jason to a boulder and throws him into the lake.
Jason is resurrected by accident again and you guessed it… Kills anyone at Camp Crystal Lake yet again.
He gets resurrected by an underwater electrical current then follows a student cruise boat to Manhattan. Kills most aboard the boat and chases two students into the sewers of Manhattan. Dissolves in toxic chemical waste this time.
See, they are using the word “Final” again! Anyway, this time we don’t know how He’s resurrected, but this time the FBI are waiting for him at Camp Crystal Lake and kills him. But this time he possesses people to pass his heart to his closest family member in order to get his body back. He does get his body back then gets stabbed by his niece and sent to hell.
2001 – Jason X
Ok, now we’re stretching the storyline a bit here (yes, this is where a I draw a line… not sure why I didn’t sooner) as Jason is cryogenically frozen and sent into space. Earths safe? Nah, after killing most in the spacecraft he gets shot back down to Earth.
2003 – Freddy vs Jason
This is my favourite movie out of them all. It is so funny. I’ve always loved Freddy Kruger as he seems to really enjoy himself as a slasher villain. Anyway, Freddy resurrects Jason in order to make his haunting grounds remember him, so he can continue to murder them in their dreams. But then Jason is killing too many and Freddy gets annoyed and they seemingly kill each other.
2009 – Friday the 13th
This is just a remake to restart the franchise. Though this time Jason sees his mother being decapitated and then starts killing anyone at Crystal Lake.
The end? Or is it?
The premise is a good one. I liked the first movie and how it created an uneasy feeling of what you would do under those circumstances. If they had stopped by the second one, I’d recommend it, but as per usual they kept bloody well making them again and again and again.
The main villain is Jigsaw (controlled by a few people through the franchise). He sets up decision making “games”, mostly on people who have no appreciation for life. The first Jigsaw is John Kramer revealed, in the second movie, that one of his main motivations to become Jigsaw was a suicide attempt after his cancer diagnosis, which led to a newfound appreciation for life; his games’ purpose is to help his victims develop the same appreciation.
The next Jigsaw is Amanda Young, who is revealed as John Kramers apprentice to continue his work once he’s dead. Though she dies in the third one.
Then detective Mark Hoffman is revealed to be another apprentice in the fourth film, continuing until he is killed in Saw 7 or Saw 3D by Dr Gordon – The first Saw survivor.
The next Jigsaw is Logan, who is revealed to be the original John Kramers first apprentice. The last one (until the next movie) is William Emmerson. Really unsure how many more apprentices John recruited. They also have a great success rate of recruiting dirty cops. But two are still alive, so I’m unsure who the next one will be, though they have been doing this for almost ten movies now and John died in the third one, so let’s hope they don’t come up with anymore apprentices!
2010 – Saw 7 Saw 3D (also known as Saw: The Final Chapter)
(They used the word Final!!!!)
The first movie was so scary, it actually made me jump from my chair and scream. It also kept me awake for a week. That was a flipping good movie. I also recommend the second and third. But then I say… no more. We are done. It is no longer scary. It is repetitive and boring. You are done. Please stop. It was Good, then you destroyed it. Stop making them. I now yawn and sleep through the boring repetition. You managed to make something that was incredible, into a sad sorry mediocre attempt. Stop making them you are done! This is one movie that actually broke my heart with the repetition and bad storey line. We found the unknown exciting, but then you explained everything through idiotic plots because you wanted more money. You are over, finished, please find something better to do with your time, as I certainly did.
I get really bored with these movies. Michael Myers will continuously hunt down any family member on Halloween. Why do they keep reproducing? The dude will stop once you all are dead. Simple. I’m going to take a nap, for this list, you can read about the different ways he kills/gets killed if you choose to.
There are three different timelines in the twelve movies, I’m going with the timelines, not year order here.
Our main villain is the notorious Michael Myers, who at the age of six, murdered his sister with a kitchen knife. He is placed into an institution and escapes fifteen years later while going to a hearing. So, Michael Myers is now twenty-one and out for bloodshed. He targets Laurie and after killing all of her friends and attacking Laurie repeatedly finally gets shot by his psychiatrist Dr Loomis and thrown off the balcony. When they look over the balcony, Michael has vanished and could be anywhere.
This one is actually set on the same night as the first movie, where Laurie is taken to the hospital due to her injuries after fighting Michael Myers. Michael does follow her to the hospital, killing all within his pathway of trying to kill Laurie. We also find out that Michael is somehow tied to Samhain and the occult and that Laurie is his youngest sister. I know sibling rivalry can be pretty intense, but Michael surely has a bit of an issue with his sister’s. Turns out due to the Samhain occult stuff, Michael is pretty much invincible… Just in case you didn’t figure out from the previous movies ending.
The psychiatrist Dr Loomis and Laurie manage to supposedly kill Michael Myers through an explosion and Laurie watches as he’s engulfed by the flames.
I know I skipped Halloween three, it is because Michael Myers was not in Halloween three as the producers were creating a different Halloween villain which they hoped would be continued for the franchise. Unfortunately, due to lack of success, Michael Myers was brought back from the grave and has remained as our villain ever since.
Ok this one is ten years after the first two movies. Laurie dead, so Michael Myers, after waking from a coma on Halloween hears that his niece is still alive and starts on his normal Halloween massacre to find and murder her. His niece Jamie was adopted into a lovely family and prepares for Halloween. Though his therapist, the entire town even form a lynch mob to protect everyone from Michael Myers. He just wants to kill Jamie, and anyone in the way gets killed as is his normal. He eventually again is constantly shot and eventually falls down a mine shaft which collapses. The end, right?
Not quite. Jamie returns home safely to her adopted family. Jamie puts on a clown mask and for no apparent reason stabs her foster mother. Dr Loomis is about to shoot her, but the sheriff stops him.
Yes, of course Michael Myers survived the mine shaft collapse and is looked after until he again wakes up on Halloween the next year and as he must, decides to track down Jamie, his niece and try to kill her again.
Jamie is mute and, in an institution, following the attack on her foster mother. Dr Loomis is convinced that she shares a telepathic link with Michael Myers. The normal happens where Michael starts killing all Jamie’s friends and anyone in his way. Until Dr Loomis and Jamie decide to try kill him by luring him back to the old house. They tranquillise him and trap him in a steel net. Michael is now in the station in jail. Everyone’s safe again… right?
No, a mysterious man in black causes an explosion and when Jamie checks, Michael’s cell is empty and the back door is open. Yep, he escaped in the explosion.
Based six years after the last movies ending, Michael Myers and Jamie have been captured by the mysterious man in black and are now in a cult, I guess. Jamie gives birth to a child, which means that Michael has another family member to track down and kill on Halloween. Yay. So obviously, on Halloween, because it’s the safest time, Laurie escapes with her child. As we now have a new family member to hunt, Jamie finally gets killed, and obviously the baby escapes. Tommy (who was the boy Laurie was babysitting in the first movie) finds it abandoned at a bus station. Tommy became obsessed with finding out what drove Michael Myers and believes his supposed immortality and evil are caused by an ancient druid curse called “Thorn”. Turns out another boy who lives in the house where it all began is infected with Thorn as well. They all either get killed or abducted by the man in black who is trying to learn how to control the curse of Thorn. All cult members get killed. Michael Myers is subdued again as Tommy and the child escape. Dr Loomis, is there again… don’t know why this bloke keeps getting involved. But it ends with Michael’s mask and Loomis screaming in the background.
Guess what? Laurie from the first movie and Jamie’s mother apparently isn’t dead! Wow, don’t you love it when they resurrect characters. It’s twenty years after the first movie and reveals that Laurie faked her death to escape Michael Myers and live in relative peace with her son. Don’t know why she abandoned her daughter Jamie, but Laurie acts like she never existed. This one is pretty simple by her son and all his friends getting hunted down by Michael Myers at a Halloween party. The ending is Laurie pinning him to a tree with a van and decapitating him.
Three years after the events of the last movie, Laurie is in an institution for being mentally unstable. Obviously, it is Halloween again and Michael Myers found a way to reattach his head, of course… He does actually end up killing her. Finally. Maybe he can stop now? Nope. Obviously, a year later on Halloween, they decide to create a reality show in Michael Myers childhood home. Yes, same plot, Michael Myers kills everyone except two and is then electrocuted. I mean, decapitation didn’t work so we aren’t surprised when he wakes up on the coroner’s table.
Reboot time. This one is a sequel to the original 1979, all other movies between then and now don’t exist in this timeline. Laurie is alive again… anyone else kind of thinking that their family has a good resurrection rate? She has been living in fear of Michael, who is locked up in an asylum. She has a fully prepared her house for a Michael Myers attack on Halloween. Laurie has a daughter and granddaughter and tries to warn them when she finds out Michael escaped… duh it’s Halloween! We all know the story, Michael hunts down his family members to kill them and they kill him by locking him in a room and burning him with the house… similar to his supposed death in the second movie just different setting. All family members are safe… or are They?
Why do I bother even asking the question… we know they aren’t.
We all know he is not dead. This is the same night as the previous movie. All survivors of the 1978 movie forty years later decide to form a mob and kill Michael Myers. Pretty much everyone gets murdered but Laurie, who is recovering in hospital.
Halloween Ends 14 October 2022 TBD
OMG end? Really? Please can we keep it as an end. How many times can they all be resurrected? How many more movies will Jamie lee Curtis be in before she gets bored? I don’t know the details as I haven’t seen it… just really hoping they mean “End”.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
I really do love Freddy Kruger as a villain, he is iconic and unlike the emotionless general horror villains, he really enjoys being a slasher and putting a scare in people. This is an original concept and really fun franchise, as a villain attacking you in your dreams is literally making your nightmares into a reality. I still think the repetition is boring, Wes Cravens A New Nightmare is different as it focuses on concepts of reality and has a twist, the rest are more or less about a nightmare killer scaring and killing teens while sleeping. Enjoy!
(They said Final again!)
That’s all/Final/End of my Horror movie remakes list…. or is it? Lol