Focus on Breathing
I found that focusing on breathing made me more anxious, due to my intense focus, but other people have success with breathing exercises.
Here is a diaphragmatic breathing demo from youtube.
This article is a study that explains some of the benefits/research on the effect of diaphragmatic breathing from the National Library of Medicine.
Writing out Lists
You write out everything which is contributing to you feeling anxious, anger, fear etc and then see which points you can logically solve in the moment, what will take time and what is not possible. It makes the problems more managable by looking at them as either quick fixes or not possible, so you don’t need to panic about it. The tip is to look at the solve section objectively and logically. Don’t block yourself e.g.
Why am I feeling anxious?
1. Need to go to work
2. Need to deal with idiotic people
3. I feel self concious because I don’t like my clothes
4. I have to pay so much tax and idiots in the government waste my hard earned money.
5. I feel cold.
Can I solve these things?
1. Yes – I can get in the car and go to work tomorrow.
2. Yes – I need to try tolerance when people annoy me.
3. Yes – Buy new clothes
4. No – I do not control the Government.
5. Yes – Turn on the heater.
Time to solve?
1. Each day until the weekend/day off.
2. Work on it slowly and start taking small steps to be more open to people. If their behaviour becomes a negative trigger find a way to talk to them calmly to resolve my discomfort.
3. Next pay day save some money to buy something nice to wear and boost self confidence.
4. Nothing you can do, no need to worry just accept it.
5. Immediately – just turn on the heater.
Repeatative actions and positive triggers
One of my calm down techniques is to play games repeditively. Even at work, if you feel a build up of anxiety, you can excuse yourself for a moment and play on your phone for a few minutes until you feel calm. With a quick game of solitaire, freecell or spider solitaire it helps to calm the racing thoughts. I also use it to calm my brain when falling asleep by playing things like Monkey Island, Sam and Max and Zelda as fun memories from childhood. You obviously don’t have time to do this at work, but I found I could use the ocarina songs from Zelda to remind me of the game and calm down from the positive trigger. Find a way to trigger the positive memories and use them as a calm down mechanism e.g. movies you liked as a child or songs.
Talking to the emotion that is making you upset.
I have a good imagination and have given all sides of my feelings a name. Some are more dominent and some don’t like others, but it can help to act like you are viewing them and mediating between them. Give them a story, a face, a name and a background.
E.g. Lets say my boss just told me that something I have been working on for a month is not needed anymore.
First response – Lucy is angry, she yells rants and raves. She is irrational and wants to make her boss suffer.
Second response – Due to not wanting to be fired when Lucy decides she wants to scream at her boss, we get Fiery who protects everyone and is more justice orientated. She tempers Lucy’s outburst from directing anger at her boss and encourages her to compose a professional enquiry on why her project was discontinued.
Third response – We get a reply and it makes sense and we can’t argue with the logic, so then Celeste, who is depression decides to come into the conversation because she thinks that all her work is unappreciated and she will never achieve anything ever again.
Fourth response – Getting stuck in depression is not good. It is ok to feel for a while, but you don’t want to get stuck with it in control so then we pull in Slyth who deals only with fun and what makes us happiest. Cook your favorite dinner, drink some beer, buy yourself that really expensive game. Live laugh and be merry for tomorrow we die, but alas we never do….
Ok, you might not be that… we’ll call it creative, instead of insane. But having a discussion with yourself sometimes helps. You can say “Hi anxiety, I can feel you really want me to break down right now, but I can’t because I have responsibities. I value that you are trying to keep me safe but can I please ask you to wait for me to process what you are trying to tell me until after work?”
Acknowledging that the emotion exists and what it is trying to do, helps to give you a break from the overwhelming panic.
Positive Reinforcement
You have something that is filling you with dread and you need to do it or bad things will occur? Each time you achieve the thing you dislike doing, give yourself a treat. Think of something nice e.g. a special dinner, a beer, an hour of uninterupted game time… anything you would really like and plan to have that as a treat after you’ve accomplished your goal. Do it everytime and slowly your brain will start creating serotonin each time you think about the disliked task because you know it will mean a positive thing is going to be your rewards afterwards. So it reshapes your feelings towards the task. As Mary Poppins sings “Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.”
Plan your day
Write down a list of all things you need to do for the day and place a box next to them. Your goal is to get ticks in all the boxes, so don’t overwhelm yourself too much. E.g. Going to work will include:
1. Shower
2. Brush teeth
3. Put on Deodorant
4. Get dressed.
5. Pack lunch
6. Drive to work…
Then you can put in your work tasks and don’t forget to include the fun stuff that will result from the positive reinforcement after work, it’s all important. Plan to tick every box and it can create a sense of achievement from even doing small things to make the big things less hard. Small steps to help with the overwhelming big task feelings.
Exercise
There are awesome benefits to exercise and often anxiety can be nervous energy, which needs to be burnt off. Make a plan to do half an hour in the morning and after work will really help increase levels of serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain, just like medications can. Exercise improves and helps regulate neurotransmitter levels, which ultimately helps us feel mentally healthy. I know stress can lead to fatigue, and it stops you from wanting to go for a run but sometimes you need to be a drill sergeant with yourself and push yourself to succeed.
Laugh
Laughing at something horrible is sometimes the only way you can stop the negative feelings associated with it. If you look at how comedians come up with their material, it’s because something seemed truly idiotic and they wanted to make fun of it or because it was needlessly frustrating. It’s what makes it so funny, because we can relate to those feelings. So when you get really anxious or annoyed, tell it as a funny story and then watch as the situation becomes funnier to you because of the absurdity or irony of it.
These videos still make me giggle no matter how many times I watch them –
This video (Humour at Work) started me thinking about how negative my (previous) workplace was and so I started entertaining them and using humor as a fun workplace thing to stop my co-workers feeling so sad from the toxic environment that it had become due to management. I created stories, videos and puzzles to entertain my lovely coworkers and bring them a bit of positivity in the bad/unhealthy environment. I quit that job 6 months ago and they are still complaining to me…
If you feel blue, just smile…
Sing really loudly
Get a song and each time you start feeling overwhelmed just start singing out loud until the anxiety feels better. Music is a good way to feel emotion and expressing it by singing is sometimes the healthiest way to experience the emotion the music is expressing. I am currently singing medleys of Disney songs to calm myself because I memorised them when I was little and they apparently have stuck in my head lol.
Help someone
It gets really easy to become too self focused when dealing with anxiety. It helps to look externally and see if others need help. I am not saying become Mother Teresa, but just asking a friend how they are feeling or helping a co-worker with a shift or something will make you feel better about yourself and feel more included in the world.
Talking to an objective person
Talking to someone when your mind is going a million kilometers per second can sometimes help by making you feel less alone and scared. You can also vent things and not feel afraid of them judging you. Please type into your search bar – “mental helplines” and see which services come up. Australia, I recommend Lifeline.
Be kind to yourself
Don’t be so mean to yourself. You are human and are not perfect. No one is asking you to be. Shit things happen and you can’t control it. Give yourself a break. As a Frenchman once said “Life, eh?” Lol.
Last but not least…
Medication –
Sometimes we need some help to regulate the chemicals and hormones in our brains. Talk to your family and find out if any medications have helped them with anxiety, then talk to your doctor to ask what they would recommend based on your families success or failed reactions to medicines in the past…
Maxine the Magnificent 